Emotions are undoubtedly an essential part of our day to day, and part of our maturity. As we understand and manage them, the better decisions we will make in our lives and the more successful we will be in our different roles.
This is what experts call emotional intelligence, and it is not linked to our knowledge at an academic level. That is why we can be very successful professionals but with a low level of emotional intelligence.
It is important that from a very young age we explain these issues to our children and talk about emotions. Of course, being a very abstract topic, it must be introduced progressively.
In this way we will be giving them the tools to be assertive adults. No matter how advanced we are in our emotional intelligence, we will always have a presence of all emotions within us, but the way we deal with them is what will differentiate us from the rest.
The ideal panorama is to start in a playful way by talking about emotions. Tools such as stories and songs are ideal to attract the attention of our little ones and promote their interest.
The goal is for them to be able to learn about the different emotions, differentiate them and even identify them. I still remember the first time my two-year-old daughter told me Mom! I'm angry! ... I felt immense happiness, not only because she was verbally expressing what she felt but she also was sharing it with me ...
With all the pleasure in the world, I replied in a calm tone, ¨… I understand perfectly, and it seems fine to me, it is normal that sometimes to feel angry and sad.
In many cultures we are used to thinking and communicating to our children that they should not cry, that they cannot fight, that they cannot be sad. But the truth is that it is normal that in some occasions we dont feel great or happy, the important thing is that we can express it correctly, without hitting, biting or yelling.
Another key point is to provide our little ones with options that make it easier for them to calm down. Undoubtedly, if for us as an adult it is not always easy to be able to control ourself in a moment of anger, imagine how hard is for our children, who live each emotion to the maximun.
In an ideal world, your child would tell you mom I'm upset, I'll take a few minutes to process what's happening to me. But this is not real, so returning to reality, I share some of the tricks and tips that I use with my daughter at the time of -crisis-. ( of course each child is different, so experiment and get what works best for them, taking into account the age of your)
· Calm Jar, We love it at home, because it calms not only our daughter but us. Here is a DIY recipe. Ideally, explain them that they should shake it with great force when they feel anger, helplessness, sadness and then breathe and wait until the glitter returns to the bottom, and they are able to see again their fingers through the Jar.
· Books, There are many options. My daughter loves this one.
· FlashCards de emociones, ideal to learn vocabulary related with emotions.
Let's not forget that Monkey See, Monkey Do so let's lead by example and begin as parents to work on our emotional intelligence.